


Shortcuts and Self Esteem

by darkmagicalgirl



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, Hair Salon AU, Haircuts, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-25 19:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7544224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkmagicalgirl/pseuds/darkmagicalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alisa is interested in getting a haircut, but the idea makes her a little nervous. She ends up in Karasuno Salon, in the hands of a particularly charismatic stylist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shortcuts and Self Esteem

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lokh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokh/gifts).



> I hope this is to your liking!

Alisa had first noticed the hair salon because of its logo. She’d been walking to the train station, briefcase dangling from her fingers, when she saw it. A black and white sign, most of it taken up with a woman in profile, eyes closed and short hair ruffling in an invisible wind. Toward the end, her hair changed from strands to feathers, dark as a crow, and a slight smile played on the woman’s face. _Become a Freer You_ , the sign said in slight, understated script, _Visit Karasuno Salon._

The image had captivated Alisa’s mind for days. The feathers, the smile, the whisper of freedom, it all called to her in a way that made her heart quicken beneath her breast, sent a thrum through her body.

A week later, Lev came into her room, as he often did, sitting on her bed and watching her get ready for the day. He wiggled his feet underneath her pillow no matter how many times she told him not to, that it was gross, and cheerfully began to chatter on about what dreams he had last night. His voice became a gentle background lull as she went through her morning routine.

“—I was at school, only school was also a shopping mall—” She brushed the last wrinkles from the stripped black and white shirt and pale green high waisted skirt…

“—fifteen seahorses in his pockets, and they all had human faces—” …slid her breast forms into place, double checking that they looked right in the mirror…

“—so I decided to eat it, even if it was such a strange color—” …brushed out her hair until it fell silky and flat down her back…

“—knees bending the wrong way, like a bird, almost—” …dusted foundation powder of her face in brisk movements, making sure it was even…

“—never even _seen_ a melonpan that big—” …leaned in close to her mirror, drawing in a thin line around each eye…

“—and then I realize I could shoot lasers, too—” Just a little shading around her cheeks…

“—could see all of Tokyo through it—” …mascara and a touch of pink gloss to her lips…

“—had to go inside the crocodile’s mouth—” …just a few final tweaks as she leaned back to see the full look…

In the middle of a story, arms still held wide to illustrate something or other, he dropped his hands and looked at her with an expression that was surprising calculating, for Lev. “Nee-san,” he said. “You don’t need to try so hard, you know.”

Alisa leaned back, heart beating faster. “What are you talking about?”

Lev waved his hand, indicating her whole self. “You’re always trying so hard,” he said. “But I don’t know if you really want to be. You’re thinking about changing something, aren’t you?”

“I…” Prepared to deny it, Alisa stopped, the image of the hair salon logo floating to the forefront of her thoughts. Had she been considering it? “I’m not sure,” she said, twisting a long, long strand of hair around her fingers. “I…”

“You’re always complaining about your hair,” Lev said. God, she always forgot that sometimes he could be surprisingly shrewd. He knew her too well. “You don’t have to keep it up if it’s for other people, you know.”

“I don’t keep it up just for other people,” Alisa said, licking her lips. “How I look is… it’s important to me.”

Lev just nodded. “But there’s no reason to be afraid of changing things you don’t like, is there? I mean, as far as I can tell, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world no matter what, so why not try out what you want?”

Alisa was silent for a moment, unsure what to say. Lev always spoke honestly, he had no head for lying at all, so she knew he wouldn’t say something he didn’t wholeheartedly believe. Still…

Sensing her turmoil, Lev smoothly took up his story from before, sliding back into the groove like there hadn’t been a pause at all. But for Alisa, he might as well have stopped speaking then. All she could think about was what he had said, and, more importantly, just how much her nerves had felt like excitement.

—

The salon was decorated all with black and clear glass. Most of the walls were windows or mirrors, covered in swirling black metal patterns that reminded Alisa of the sign. There were pictures on the walls in the same style, each one possessing the same dreamy quality that had so entranced her.

Even with Lev's encouragement, it had taken her nearly a month to find the courage to come in. A month of tugging at her hair, folding it up under hats, even trying those websites that created haircut previews that looked fairly monstrous.

"Welcome!"

Alisa jumped at the chirpy voice, letting go of the door she'd been holding open behind her in case she needed to beat a hasty retreat.

"Ah, I startled you! Sorry, sorry!" A girl was sitting behind a counter where Alisa hadn't yet looked, waving her arms now in distress. She was young, probably just out of high school at the latest, and she was blushing up a storm. A nametag pinned to her chest identified her as Yachi Hitoka. "I didn't mean to!"

"It's okay!" Alisa said. "I didn't, I mean, I'm not— It's fine!"

"Do you have an appointment?" Yachi asked, flipping through a planner in front of her. "Ah, are you Kiyoko-san's cut and color at 3?"

"No, no," Alisa said. "I don't have an appointment. I'm just looking..."

"Wow, look at all that hair!" The new voice was warm and loud, so much so that it was a surprise when Alisa turned and saw how small the woman it belonged to was. She barely came to Alisa's shoulder, but she was bursting with energy, almost dazzling. Her bleached hair fell in a bob that accentuated her expressive eyes, and she rolled a lollipop stick between her full lips. She wore a belt that looked like a gun holster slung low across her hips, various hair supplies poking out of the pockets.

She stepped forward, raising her hand to Alisa's hair before hesitating a moment. "May I?" she asked.

Alisa nodded, a bit embarrassed but unsurprised. A lot of people were interested in her hair, with how long it was and how bright. It made sense that a hairstylist would be just as interested, if not more so.

The woman's fingers moved deftly through her hair, gently separating the strands to check the thickness at different points. "Whew," she said. "Gorgeous, you've got great hair quality! So healthy. But it must be a pain to take care of, huh? Looking for a summer cut?"

"Oh, I'm not sure," Alisa said quickly, one hand coming up to brush at the point of her hair near her cheek. "I just... I'm not sure yet."

"No problem!" the woman said, drawing back and giving her a saucy wink that did funny things to Alisa's breathing for a moment. "Why don't you come back and sit in my chair for a bit and we can brainstorm, hmm? No charge!"

"Oh, I don't want to impose—"

"Psh! I've got no one on the schedule. You'd be saving me from myself, really, when I get bored I start playing with the dyes on myself, to be honest." She twirled around and lifted up the back of her hair, showing Alisa that though the top layer was blonde, she'd colored the bottom pink. "Fun, right? But I gotta stop or I'll just be rainbows all over and no one will take me seriously!"

As she talked, she had led Alisa away from the front of the salon, back to where a few chairs were set up in front of stations with mirrors and hair tools. There was a dark haired woman wearing the salon's dark uniform in one, typing on her phone, but the other stations were empty.

"I'm Saeko, yeah? What's your name?" Saeko asked as patted the seat closest to the window for Alisa to sit down in.

"Alisa," she said, settling in as comfortably as she could. "But, I really don't even know where to start."

Saeko leaned back against the counter, tapping her lower lip with her lollipop as she gave Alisa a critical look. "How about you tell me about your hair right now? Why did you get it like this, what you like about it, what you don't..."

Alisa squirmed in her seat, thinking. "Well, I... For a long time, I couldn't have long hair," she said carefully. "And when I saw other girls with their hair, I was so jealous, because it looked so pretty, and I wanted to be that. I wanted to be pretty like that, that kind of girly look."

With an encouraging nod, Saeko leaned forward. "So when you could, you decided to grow your hair out?"

"Yeah," Alisa said. "I just wanted to get it as long as possible, so everyone who saw me would know I was— a girly girl, I guess."

"And now?"

"Well, I still am, you know, a girly girl," Alisa said, running a hand down her skirt to get rid of imaginary wrinkles. "But I mean, like you said, it's a lot to take care of, and I guess now that I've gotten a chance to be as girly as I want to be, I suppose it doesn't feel like I need to be so extreme any more? Like it's okay to back off a bit..." She studied her knees, embarrassed.

"That makes perfect sense!" Saeko said. When Alisa looked up, she was grinning and pulling magazines out of a rack near her station, flipping them open. "Deciding to branch out is always nerve-wracking, but it can be really fun, too. Why don't we go through some of these pictures and you can tell me what kind of hair styles call to you?"

Nearly an hour later, Alisa's mind was buzzing with ideas and Saeko's next client was about to show up.

"Sleep on it," Saeko advised her. "Look up some more pictures, talk to your little bro, make an appointment for next week, and come back in then."

—

When the scissors closed around her hair, Alisa had a moment of sheer panic. Then there was the strange sensation of air hitting the nape of her neck, of weightlessness.  Her remaining hair fell forward around her face, free of the ponytail that was left in Saeko's hands.

Saeko spun Alisa around and held up the shorn hunk of blonde hair like a trophy. "Ta-da!"

"Goodness," Alisa said, raising a hand to the back of her head where the ends of her hair now sat.

"Want to do anything special with this?" Saeko asked, shaking the clipped hair. "You can tie it up with a ribbon, give it to your boyfriend—”

"No— no boyfriend," Alisa said, cheeks heating. "I was thinking of donating— I found an organization that said they'd accept it even though it's blonde..."

Saeko was usually smiling, but now her eyes crinkled into a slightly softer expression. "You're not bad, princess," she said. "I'll keep this safe for you up here, okay? Now let's go for shampoo and conditioner."

Alisa spent the walk back to the washing station still in a daze over how different everything felt. She couldn't stop shaking her head from side to side, feeling how different it was. She felt almost weightless.

"Already having fun, huh?" Saeko said as she lay a towel down in the depression where Alisa lay her neck. "Let me know how the water temperature is, okay?"

"It feels good," Alisa said, closing her eyes as she let the weight of her head fall back fully into Saeko's strong hands. The warm water felt nice against her scalp, but even more than that was Saeko's fingers, gently separating and massaging as she worked.

Alisa wouldn't have described herself as especially sensitive to touch. She wasn't like Lev, who soaked up physical affection like a flower to sunlight. But Saeko's hands in her hair just felt so good, so deliciously good, finding sensitive parts of her scalp she hadn't even known existed and providing them with the perfect kind of friction.

The scent of jasmine hung in the air as Saeko massaged the shampoo into her remaining hair, humming along to the radio song as she went. The water was warm and the shampoo a gently cool counterpoint to it, and Alisa's eyes fell closed as she let herself just enjoy the sensations washing over her.

"All done," Saeko said not too long after, helping Alisa sit up. She toweled off Alisa's hair, gently crunching it in the fluffy towel she'd had wrapped around her neck. "You have beautiful hair quality, you know."

"Thanks," Alisa said as she followed Saeko back to her chair. Saeko was wearing shorts in deference to the building summer heat and Alisa's eyes were drawn to the way her thighs jiggled as she walked, the sway of her hips.

With a blush, she forced her gaze upward, only to see herself in the mirror. She blinked at her reflection, one hand stalling on it's way to touch her hair. She looked so different, without her hair. Her cheekbones couldn't possibly have always been so high, her nose never so arched.

"Now we can really get started," Saeko said, twirling her scissors around her fingers. "This won't be how it ends up, don't worry. You're gonna look so brilliant, I promise."

Alisa sank back into the chair. "Don't worry, I'm not— I'm not doubting you," she said. "I just..."

"It's a big change," Saeko said, patting Alisa's shoulder. "It'll take a lot of getting used to, I know. You know, I cried when I cut my hair short the first time? I mean, I'd actually really fucked up the cut, so it didn't look nearly as cute as yours is gonna be, but I was honestly just crying because it was different." She brushed Alisa's hair into place with sure fingers, pinning the remaining length out of the way.

"What made you cut it?" Alisa asked, trying to imagine Saeko with long hair. Short hair just seemed to suit her.

"Oh, lord, a lot of things," Saeko said, beginning to snip away. "I was still in high school then, and honestly it was kind of a shit time for me. My mom was working a lot and my kid brother was acting out, missing her and all that, and it kinda fell to me to look after him day to day — turn left for me? Perfect — I didn't really have many friends, either, 'cause I was too messed up to fit in with the goody two-shoes but had too much I needed to get done to blow stuff off with the punks."

Alisa winced in sympathy. "Sounds rough."

Saeko nodded and waved a hand, accepting and dismissing the sentiment all at once. "Yeah, well, looking back I can see where I was making life harder on myself half the time, but hindsight is 20/20, especially with the gift of maturity. The point is, I felt like I was getting lost in the shuffle, you know? Like nobody really saw me, or if they did they didn't think I was worth paying attention to."

Alisa hummed, gaze sliding over Saeko's form in the mirror. It was hard to imagine anyone not paying attention to her— she was beautiful, in the way that made everything around her more beautiful as well. Like the glow of a flame.

"Can't believe it, right? Well, I was a late bloomer, I guess," Saeko said with a wink. "Turn right now, that's it — Anyway, back then I was just this shortie with a mop of hair hiding her face... and one day I was looking at myself and I was like, this isn't who I want to be, this isn't who I am."

"I can relate to that," Alisa said, making a face. "So you cut it?"

"Right there in our cramped little bathroom, balanced up on counter to try to see what I was doing. And god, when I was done and realized I almost couldn't recognize myself, I just started sobbing. That's how my brother found me, covered in snot on the bathroom floor, surrounded by hair like someone had murdered a puppet or something."

Alisa snorted in undignified laughter, trying to imagine what her own brother would do if he found her like that. "You probably gave him a heart attack," she said.

Saeko's grin widened. "Got it in one," she said. "He freaked out completely. Once he figured out what was going on, though, he was sweet about it. Told me I looked drop-dead."

"Aw, he sounds nice."

"He can be a little shit," Saeko said easily. "But when it matters, yeah, he's the best. Well, in my opinion, he's always the best, even when he's being a shit, but you know. I'm biased and all. Tip forward? Perfect."

“My brother can be like that,” Alisa said, examining the tips of her shoes. “Or, well, he’s not a shit, exactly, he’s just goofy sometimes. Innocent, sort of.”

“You guys seem close,” Saeko said as her hands worked quickly over the hair on each side of Alisa’s face.

Alisa had to contain the urge to nod. “We are,” she said. “We always have been, really. Lyovochka has always been really social, from when he was just teeny-tiny. Oh, you should have seen him as a toddler, wanting to wave at everyone he passed, wanting to learn everyone’s names… Just so friendly.”

Saeko hummed when Alisa paused, urging her to continue.

“But, you know, it’s been kind of hard for us, growing up here… people see us and they don’t think of us as Japanese. They treat us as tourists, outsiders… we’ve lived here our whole life, but that doesn’t matter.” Alisa sighed. “Lyovochka struggled with it. He didn’t understand why the other kids didn’t want to be friends with him. He can be surprisingly sensitive… He puts on a smile but things can really get to him, underneath.”

“I know the type,” Saeko said. “Poor kid.”

“He’s doing a lot better now,” Alisa said. “He joined a sports team in high school and they accepted him pretty quickly. Helps that he’s so tall, of course. He’s finally starting to feel like he belongs, I think. But back then, we really clung to each other.”

“It’s good that you looked out for him,” Saeko said. “Little brothers, right? They need a lot from us. Not that they don’t pay it back, when we need them.”

A smile curved Alisa’s mouth. “Exactly.” 

Saeko seemed ready to say more, but the sound of a cell phone going off halted her. With a frown, she pulled an old flip-phone from her pocket. “Shit, gotta take this. Hang tight, okay?” At Alisa’s nod, she stepped away, talking in a low voice into the phone.

Alisa took the opportunity to look at her hair in the mirror. It was still wet and not-quite done, but it was starting to come together. Her neck looked so long, without all that hair around it, her eyes so big. Her face seemed almost dainty, she thought wonderingly, touching her cheek in surprise.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Saeko said, returning as she she slipped her phone back into her pocket.

“No worries,” Alisa said. “I hope everything is okay.”

“Oh, everything’s fine,” Saeko said, preforming a few more neat cuts with a flick of her scissors. “Just an ex-girlfriend calling about dropping some old stuff of mine back. We’re gonna blowdry now, okay?”

“Okay,” Alisa said automatically as Saeko fired up the blowdryer and turned its hot air on her. She was grateful for its roar, which curtailed any continued conversation for a bit. Her stomach was doing acrobatics suddenly, and she was sure if she opened her mouth, something embarrassing would come out.

Ex-girlfriend, Saeko had said. A girlfriend! Saeko dated girls! Alisa had been attracted to her all along, in that low-level, almost comfortable way that came from knowing the chances that some random girl shared close enough of an orientation to make mutual attraction even the slightest possibility… But if Saeko liked girls…

Alisa swallowed, hoping the heat from the blowdryer was enough to explain the blush she was sure decorated her cheeks. It was one thing to gently ogle someone who was statistically unlikely to be interested, but when those odds rose...

"Almost done," Saeko said as she switched off the blowdryer. "Just gonna neaten you up a bit."

"Th-thanks," Alisa said, battling the feeling that her tongue had turned all slipshod with awkwardness and butterflies. She had to say something to cover the strangeness now, didn't she? Otherwise it would be too rude, it might seem like she was offended, which was the opposite of the truth. "You're really good at this," she blurted out and immediately cursed herself for not keeping silent. 

Saeko only grinned, apparently not concerned with Alisa's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad social skills. "Thanks," she said, leaning in close to sort out Alisa's layers. "Yeah, styling hair kind of became a hobby for me after that whole bathroom incident. It was like I'd discovered a whole new world, where I could use scissors a lot and still make something beautiful." She laughed. "Not that you need the help, love."

And then she leaned over even further and started to blow air gently across Alisa's face to dislodge the stray hairs still stuck to her skin and oh god, if Alisa’s face is even half so red as it feels, she must be achieving precious gemstone status by now.

"You!" she said earnestly and then realized that made no sense. "I mean, you too, you're really beautiful." Oh no, what was her mouth even doing? How could she stop it? 

"You're sweet."

And apparently she's going to dig herself deeper, because— "No, I'm serious. You're like, otherworldly attractive, not just your body but your face, your smile, all of it. All of it is... good. Oh god, shut me up right now."

Saeko's eyes were soft where they turned up with her smile. "And miss out on this cuteness?" she said. "Why would I?"

Which, strangely enough, made it a bit easier for Alisa to breathe. "You're terrible," she said. 

"Hey, hey, it's not everyday I get a girl as cute as you in my chair, tripping over herself to compliment me," Saeko said. She stepped back from the chair and gestured at the mirror. "So, what do you think?"

The moment of truth. Alisa wet her lips, taking in a deep breath before focusing on her reflection.

"I look..." Words failed her. It was like Saeko had crafted her into something new, exposed angles to the sun that she had never seen before. Her head felt amazingly light, naked almost. 

"I left a bit more length at the top, see," Saeko said, running her hands through the hair. "So you can play with it a bit. Style it sleek like this if you want to be profession, mess it up a little for a more cheeky look, it's versatile." 

"Wow," Alisa said, tilting her head to see the different sides. She been cut close at the back of her neck, so short she could feel the ends of the hair strands tickling her fingers when she touched the back of her head. As it moved up and forward, it grew longer, slightly off-center so that she could part the longer section to the left. It swept down to her cheekbones at longest. 

She looked older, perhaps, more mature. Sophisticated, but with an edge.

"I love it," Alisa breathed.

"Don't be afraid to tell me if you want anything different," Saeko said. "I can tweak it, no problem."

"No, no, it's perfect," Alisa said. "Wow."

"Wear it around for a bit," Saeko said. "See if you notice anything, anything at all, that you want different or doesn't quite work. We can meet up in a few days and you can let me know if anything has come up."

"Okay," Alisa said, still distracted by looking at herself in the mirror. She looked so elegant! "Should I make an appointment or—"

"Or we could just meet for coffee," Saeko said. "If you'd like."

"Oh! I'd. I'd like. I'd like that, I'd really, really like that. Really." She had to press a hand to her warm cheeks. 

Saeko let out a breath and Alisa realized that she must have been just as nervous as Alisa was. How odd.

"I'll give you my personal number," Saeko said, grabbing one of her salon's cards and writing on the back. "Give me a call whenever. I'll be looking forward to it."

Walking back to the train station, Alisa wasn't sure how much of the lightness in her limbs was due to her new haircut, and how much was from that little rectangle of paper pressed into her palm.


End file.
